This has been such an emotionally draining week. It actually started last Friday when I went to New Mexico to visit my aunt, who I hadn't seen in years. She isn't in good health now and being there brought up a lot of old memories. It also got me thinking more about what I really want to do with my life and making a conscious decision to eliminate people and things that don't bring me happiness.
I took a long drive in the desert one day and at a rest stop with a spectacular view I wrote down a list of the goals, some small, some big that I want to accomplish. The list is now on my fridge and everyday it is a reminder to live a purposeful and happy life.
I came back from New Mexico on Monday and started a new job on Wednesday that I really wanted to work, but within a day realized that it wasn't for me. I've never worked in an office in the traditional sense before. Most of my jobs were either in kitchens or working remotely on my computer from a Starbucks. I knew it would be a bit of an adjustment to have to come into an office five days a week and sit at a desk, but I figured if millions of other people can do why can't I. But, it became clear within the first day that this particular company culture was not for me. I spent the last two days constantly checking the clock and literally going mental every time someone coughed (which yesterday happened exactly 65 times) or answered the phone (too many to count). The movie Office Space is oh so real and now I know exactly what I can't tolerate.
I really wish I was someone who was okay with just having a job and living for the weekends, but I'm just not that type of person and between now and dead I don't ever want to be.xx